If children are born with a sense of right and wrong, as brain science shows, why don't they just do the right thing?
Part of the reason it's tough is that the moment children observe bad behavior, they have learned it. Even if the bad behavior is punished, it remains easily accessible in the child's brain. Psychologist Albert Bandura was able to show this with help from a clown.
In the 1960s, Bandura showed preschoolers a film involving a Bobo doll, one of those inflatable plastic clowns weighted on the bottom. In the film, an adult named Susan kicks and punches the doll, then repeatedly clobbers it with a hammer. After the film, the preschoolers are taken into another room filled with toys, including (surprise) a Bobo doll and a toy hammer.
What do the children do? It depends. If they saw a version of the film where Susan was praised for her violent actions, they hit the doll with great frequency. If they saw a version where Susan got punished, they hit Bobo with less frequency. But if Bandura then strides into the room and says, "I will give you a reward if you can repeat what you saw Susan do," the children will pick up a hammer and start swinging at Bobo.
Whether the children saw the violence as rewarded or punished, they learned the behavior. Bandura calls this "observational learning," and his finding is an extraordinary weapon of mass instruction. Observational learning plays a powerful role in moral reasoning.
How does moral reasoning develop? Slowly. Harvard psychologist Kohlberg believed that moral reasoning depended upon general cognitive maturity--another way of saying that these things take time. He outlined a progressive process:
1. Avoiding punishment. Moral reasoning starts out at a fairly primitive level, focused mostly on avoiding punishment. Kohlberg calls this stage pre-conventional moral reasoning.
2. Considering consequences. As a child's mind develops, she begins to consider the social consequences of her behaviors and starts to modify them accordingly. Kohlberg terms this conventional moral reasoning.
3. Acting on principle. Eventually, the child begins to base her behavioral choices on well-thought-out, objective moral principles, not just on avoidance of punishment or peer acceptance. Kohlberg calls this coveted stage post-conventional moral reasoning. One could argue that the goal of any parent is to land here.
This willingness to make the right choices--and to withstand pressure to make the wrong ones, even when the possibility of detection and punishment is zero--is the goal of moral development. We parents use rules and discipline, of course, to get our children to this stage.
In my book "Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to 5," I discuss the research-tested strategies that parents can use to aid moral development. At the end of the book, I gather practical tips, including these two:
CAP your rules
Discipline FIRST
Need one more? Read "A Magic Trick for Getting Kids to Follow Rules."
Watch more parenting videos or learn more about your baby's brain at brainrules.net.
Part of the reason it's tough is that the moment children observe bad behavior, they have learned it. Even if the bad behavior is punished, it remains easily accessible in the child's brain. Psychologist Albert Bandura was able to show this with help from a clown.
In the 1960s, Bandura showed preschoolers a film involving a Bobo doll, one of those inflatable plastic clowns weighted on the bottom. In the film, an adult named Susan kicks and punches the doll, then repeatedly clobbers it with a hammer. After the film, the preschoolers are taken into another room filled with toys, including (surprise) a Bobo doll and a toy hammer.
What do the children do? It depends. If they saw a version of the film where Susan was praised for her violent actions, they hit the doll with great frequency. If they saw a version where Susan got punished, they hit Bobo with less frequency. But if Bandura then strides into the room and says, "I will give you a reward if you can repeat what you saw Susan do," the children will pick up a hammer and start swinging at Bobo.
Whether the children saw the violence as rewarded or punished, they learned the behavior. Bandura calls this "observational learning," and his finding is an extraordinary weapon of mass instruction. Observational learning plays a powerful role in moral reasoning.
How does moral reasoning develop? Slowly. Harvard psychologist Kohlberg believed that moral reasoning depended upon general cognitive maturity--another way of saying that these things take time. He outlined a progressive process:
1. Avoiding punishment. Moral reasoning starts out at a fairly primitive level, focused mostly on avoiding punishment. Kohlberg calls this stage pre-conventional moral reasoning.
2. Considering consequences. As a child's mind develops, she begins to consider the social consequences of her behaviors and starts to modify them accordingly. Kohlberg terms this conventional moral reasoning.
3. Acting on principle. Eventually, the child begins to base her behavioral choices on well-thought-out, objective moral principles, not just on avoidance of punishment or peer acceptance. Kohlberg calls this coveted stage post-conventional moral reasoning. One could argue that the goal of any parent is to land here.
This willingness to make the right choices--and to withstand pressure to make the wrong ones, even when the possibility of detection and punishment is zero--is the goal of moral development. We parents use rules and discipline, of course, to get our children to this stage.
In my book "Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to 5," I discuss the research-tested strategies that parents can use to aid moral development. At the end of the book, I gather practical tips, including these two:
CAP your rules
Discipline FIRST
Need one more? Read "A Magic Trick for Getting Kids to Follow Rules."
Watch more parenting videos or learn more about your baby's brain at brainrules.net.
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